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Flurry machine 🅱roke

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COMMENTS

  • FurryPornAccount
    21 points Dec 16,2017, 8:57pm

    Do mcflurrys really exist? I mean whens the last time you were able to order one?

  • Xisuthrus
    9 points Dec 16,2017, 11:04pm
  • monteminx
    2 points Dec 16,2017, 10:34pm

    Wow. Horrible. Me circa 6th grade though

  • butisitok
    1 points Dec 16,2017, 8:42pm

    Is this a Taylor Swift song?

  • pragmagnetism
    1 points Dec 17,2017, 4:47am

    I can almost read this to the tune of “I will survive”

COMMENTS

  • FurryPornAccount
    21 points Dec 16,2017, 8:57pm

    Do mcflurrys really exist? I mean whens the last time you were able to order one?

  • Xisuthrus
    9 points Dec 16,2017, 11:04pm
  • monteminx
    2 points Dec 16,2017, 10:34pm

    Wow. Horrible. Me circa 6th grade though

  • mauvecrow
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 12:21pm

    Why can’t pink be strong?

  • butisitok
    1 points Dec 16,2017, 8:42pm

    Is this a Taylor Swift song?

  • pragmagnetism
    1 points Dec 17,2017, 4:47am

    I can almost read this to the tune of “I will survive”

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A hidden message

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COMMENTS

  • jell0d
    1 points Dec 17,2017, 8:02pm

    is this loss?

COMMENTS

  • jell0d
    1 points Dec 17,2017, 8:02pm

    is this loss?

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5 bitcoins

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COMMENTS

  • King_of_the_Kobolds
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 7:41pm

    You can now get your head replaced with a genetically engineered velociraptor head for those bitcoins.

COMMENTS

  • King_of_the_Kobolds
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 7:41pm

    You can now get your head replaced with a genetically engineered velociraptor head for those bitcoins.

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I’d lose on porpoise

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COMMENTS

  • FurryPornAccount
    37 points Dec 16,2017, 8:04pm

    I don't need no bones anyways my muscles are strong and independant thank you very much.

  • Xisuthrus
    9 points Dec 16,2017, 11:00pm

    My current skeleton is starting to lose its stickiness, he can have it.

  • Arpeniox_Jr
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 1:53am

    Now I can use that Lego skeleton, because it's probably more stable than my current skeleton.

COMMENTS

  • FurryPornAccount
    37 points Dec 16,2017, 8:04pm

    I don't need no bones anyways my muscles are strong and independant thank you very much.

  • Xisuthrus
    9 points Dec 16,2017, 11:00pm

    My current skeleton is starting to lose its stickiness, he can have it.

  • Arpeniox_Jr
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 1:53am

    Now I can use that Lego skeleton, because it's probably more stable than my current skeleton.

  • slippytoadstada
    1 points Dec 17,2017, 4:33pm

    why is oncie blue scapegoat token now??

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Pando the trembling giant

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COMMENTS

  • Magic-Staff
    48 points Dec 16,2017, 11:52pm

    WE NEED TO PROTECT PANDO

  • mcswaggerduff
    21 points Dec 17,2017, 12:05am

    I need a story where pando becomes a spirit of nature that can move and is in essence a dryad but instead of for a tree for a whole forest

  • Peffern2
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 7:28pm

    IIRC mushrooms do this too

  • xitzengyigglz
    1 points Dec 17,2017, 9:22am

    How did people cause insects and drought?

  • cailihphiliac
    1 points Dec 17,2017, 4:02am

    He and a park ranger cut the tree down to remove the equipment, and when they counted the tree rings, they realised their mistake. Oops.

    What was their mistake? Was it cutting down the tree instead of leaving the equipment there? Was it not having better equipment? Was it that they cut down the oldest tree just to see how old it was? Was it that they'd gotten the tree's age wrong by quite a bit?

COMMENTS

  • Magic-Staff
    48 points Dec 16,2017, 11:52pm

    WE NEED TO PROTECT PANDO

  • mcswaggerduff
    21 points Dec 17,2017, 12:05am

    I need a story where pando becomes a spirit of nature that can move and is in essence a dryad but instead of for a tree for a whole forest

  • Peffern2
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 7:28pm

    IIRC mushrooms do this too

  • Peffern2
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 7:43pm

    Nobody's mentioned the best Pando fact: he turns color and loses all his leaves all at once.

  • xitzengyigglz
    1 points Dec 17,2017, 9:22am

    How did people cause insects and drought?

  • cailihphiliac
    1 points Dec 17,2017, 4:02am

    He and a park ranger cut the tree down to remove the equipment, and when they counted the tree rings, they realised their mistake. Oops.

    What was their mistake? Was it cutting down the tree instead of leaving the equipment there? Was it not having better equipment? Was it that they cut down the oldest tree just to see how old it was? Was it that they'd gotten the tree's age wrong by quite a bit?

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Fuck I'm so gay

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COMMENTS

  • Jowobo
    52 points Dec 17,2017, 9:20am

    Hate to wreck the party, but that's just Ricci's face and a plunging neckline Photoshopped onto a flipped and colour-adjusted version of this shot of Anjelica Houston.

  • GoodCatWarriorName
    59 points Dec 16,2017, 10:14pm

    I'm only barely gay at all and I still got tingles.

  • ViralFirefly
    24 points Dec 17,2017, 12:24am

    I'm straight and that's still hot.

COMMENTS

  • Jowobo
    52 points Dec 17,2017, 9:20am

    Hate to wreck the party, but that's just Ricci's face and a plunging neckline Photoshopped onto a flipped and colour-adjusted version of this shot of Anjelica Houston.

  • GoodCatWarriorName
    59 points Dec 16,2017, 10:14pm

    I'm only barely gay at all and I still got tingles.

  • ViralFirefly
    24 points Dec 17,2017, 12:24am

    I'm straight and that's still hot.

  • itsjustaneyesplice
    3 points Dec 17,2017, 6:48pm

    Pretty sure no mortal can resist this honestly

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Mine would bang on the mirror every morning for his breakfast. It was just leaning against the wall and pretty flimsy so it was LOUD

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COMMENTS

  • Xisuthrus
    77 points Dec 16,2017, 10:56pm

    I'm not entirely sure how this arrangement developed, since I'm away at university most of the time, but somehow my dog has gotten into a routine where every evening he will get up on people's legs and bark and whine until someone pours him a bowl of ice from the fridge so he can eat it. He likes that cronch.

  • panic_chaos
    53 points Dec 17,2017, 12:11am

    If you show any sign of being awake, he will wake up and come over to get snuggles. Often it's when you shift in your sleep. Sometimes he decides it's snuggle time, and will scratch at my shoulder until I lift the blanket for him to crawl under to snuggle. I can't put the blanket down obviously, so I have to stay awake until he's done.

    If food is late, he screams, but then after food he has "designated crazy time" where he just runs around and yodels while jumping on everything.

    He likes to be chased too, so if he's in the mood for chasing, he'll scream until you come after him. If you stop too soon, he'll continue screaming. He did this with my nephew [who was 2 at the time] my mother told my nephew to stop chasing the poor cat, but then the cat came back around the corner and cried for the chasing to continue.

    He's a monster, but he's my monster.

  • icspn
    40 points Dec 16,2017, 11:19pm

    My cat drags dirty laundry from my hamper and puts it in her water dish then cries because she can't get a drink.

  • GoodCatWarriorName
    38 points Dec 16,2017, 10:13pm

    My fiancé and I wake up at separate times, and my cats sometimes coordinate to trick whoever wakes up later into feeding them again. Now we have a magnet on the fridge that we have to flip when we feed the cats so we won't fall prey to their tricksy wiles.

  • Mattymario100
    16 points Dec 17,2017, 4:05am

    My cat has figured out if he puts his paws under my door he can pull it open. He does this in the middle of the night and sits by my head and licks my hair

  • SJ_Barbarian
    12 points Dec 17,2017, 4:32am

    My cat whenever the pillow he likes best isn't on the chair he likes best:

    🎶I had a dream my life would beSo different from this hell I'm living🎶

  • other_olivia
    10 points Dec 16,2017, 9:39pm

    mine have broken 2 of my mirrorsr.i.p,

  • rapunzel_flower
    12 points Dec 17,2017, 12:07pm

    Whenever I put a blanket on me when I’m on the couch, my cat absolutely MUST burrow under the blanket and come join me. If I lift up the blanket to make it easier for her, she gets very upset and storms off. If I have the blanket tucked so she can’t easily burrow under it, she cries until I make it looser. My cat is ridiculous.

  • wet_smoke
    10 points Dec 17,2017, 4:43am

    I want a cat now.

  • zuppaiaia
    3 points Dec 17,2017, 7:39am

    That last one must have Siamese blood in it. God are they meowy.

  • NeverEnoughMuppets
    3 points Dec 17,2017, 2:37pm

    My cat has figured out how to pause Netflix on my touch screen laptop. I’ll unpause it and he’ll pause it again until he gets what he wants.

    One time he wouldn’t let me pet him for an entire day because I threw away his favorite piece of cardboard.

    His favorite foods are plastic bags and Cheez-Its.

COMMENTS

  • Xisuthrus
    77 points Dec 16,2017, 10:56pm

    I'm not entirely sure how this arrangement developed, since I'm away at university most of the time, but somehow my dog has gotten into a routine where every evening he will get up on people's legs and bark and whine until someone pours him a bowl of ice from the fridge so he can eat it. He likes that cronch.

  • panic_chaos
    53 points Dec 17,2017, 12:11am

    If you show any sign of being awake, he will wake up and come over to get snuggles. Often it's when you shift in your sleep. Sometimes he decides it's snuggle time, and will scratch at my shoulder until I lift the blanket for him to crawl under to snuggle. I can't put the blanket down obviously, so I have to stay awake until he's done.

    If food is late, he screams, but then after food he has "designated crazy time" where he just runs around and yodels while jumping on everything.

    He likes to be chased too, so if he's in the mood for chasing, he'll scream until you come after him. If you stop too soon, he'll continue screaming. He did this with my nephew [who was 2 at the time] my mother told my nephew to stop chasing the poor cat, but then the cat came back around the corner and cried for the chasing to continue.

    He's a monster, but he's my monster.

  • icspn
    40 points Dec 16,2017, 11:19pm

    My cat drags dirty laundry from my hamper and puts it in her water dish then cries because she can't get a drink.

  • Sophia_Forever
    19 points Dec 16,2017, 9:47pm

    Mine likes to clean my hand whenever he can and will get noticeably upset if I don't let him.

  • GoodCatWarriorName
    38 points Dec 16,2017, 10:13pm

    My fiancé and I wake up at separate times, and my cats sometimes coordinate to trick whoever wakes up later into feeding them again. Now we have a magnet on the fridge that we have to flip when we feed the cats so we won't fall prey to their tricksy wiles.

  • Mattymario100
    16 points Dec 17,2017, 4:05am

    My cat has figured out if he puts his paws under my door he can pull it open. He does this in the middle of the night and sits by my head and licks my hair

  • SJ_Barbarian
    12 points Dec 17,2017, 4:32am

    My cat whenever the pillow he likes best isn't on the chair he likes best:

    🎶I had a dream my life would beSo different from this hell I'm living🎶

  • other_olivia
    10 points Dec 16,2017, 9:39pm

    mine have broken 2 of my mirrorsr.i.p,

  • rapunzel_flower
    12 points Dec 17,2017, 12:07pm

    Whenever I put a blanket on me when I’m on the couch, my cat absolutely MUST burrow under the blanket and come join me. If I lift up the blanket to make it easier for her, she gets very upset and storms off. If I have the blanket tucked so she can’t easily burrow under it, she cries until I make it looser. My cat is ridiculous.

  • wet_smoke
    10 points Dec 17,2017, 4:43am

    I want a cat now.

  • zuppaiaia
    3 points Dec 17,2017, 7:39am

    That last one must have Siamese blood in it. God are they meowy.

  • NeverEnoughMuppets
    3 points Dec 17,2017, 2:37pm

    My cat has figured out how to pause Netflix on my touch screen laptop. I’ll unpause it and he’ll pause it again until he gets what he wants.

    One time he wouldn’t let me pet him for an entire day because I threw away his favorite piece of cardboard.

    His favorite foods are plastic bags and Cheez-Its.

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Two trees that aren't gay...okay maybe just a little bit

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COMMENTS

  • winter_mutant
    39 points Dec 16,2017, 11:12pm

    One theory for why this happens is to stop the spread of leaf-eating insects.

  • bbsnuggz
    23 points Dec 17,2017, 1:09am

    This post tickled me. That's one of my favorite vines and I wish I had someone to share this with who would appreciate it.

  • Fukentatertots
    19 points Dec 16,2017, 11:42pm

    So I saw this a while ago and went out to a forest because I was like "why haven't I noticed this" but the trees there overlap a bunch and are kind of a mess... so is it only some types that do this or???

  • Middle5401
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 10:23am

    Lookin like the gosh darn Witness up in here

COMMENTS

  • winter_mutant
    39 points Dec 16,2017, 11:12pm

    One theory for why this happens is to stop the spread of leaf-eating insects.

  • bbsnuggz
    23 points Dec 17,2017, 1:09am

    This post tickled me. That's one of my favorite vines and I wish I had someone to share this with who would appreciate it.

  • Fukentatertots
    19 points Dec 16,2017, 11:42pm

    So I saw this a while ago and went out to a forest because I was like "why haven't I noticed this" but the trees there overlap a bunch and are kind of a mess... so is it only some types that do this or???

  • analogaether
    5 points Dec 17,2017, 10:45am

    ifunny.co

  • Middle5401
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 10:23am

    Lookin like the gosh darn Witness up in here

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Thorsty

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COMMENTS

  • Xisuthrus
    140 points Dec 16,2017, 11:02pm

    "I want all of the water that's in me to be out of me and all of the water that's out of me to be in me."

  • maybeiamcursed
    95 points Dec 17,2017, 1:58am

    Mmm and then you creep to the kitchen and drink three glasses of water and it goes sloosh sloosh in your stomach

  • MrYourLastName
    29 points Dec 16,2017, 9:38pm

    Wot

  • FatGecko5
    10 points Dec 17,2017, 3:37am

    Is this actually a big thing? I know I do it, but are there really so many people that drink water in the middle of the night that I see these posts all the time. They're usually unique too

  • Valiant_Panda
    6 points Dec 17,2017, 3:44am
  • Phionex141
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 5:57am

    I read this in the voice of that bug from Men in Black

  • TheMamid
    1 points Dec 17,2017, 3:07pm

COMMENTS

  • Xisuthrus
    140 points Dec 16,2017, 11:02pm

    "I want all of the water that's in me to be out of me and all of the water that's out of me to be in me."

  • maybeiamcursed
    95 points Dec 17,2017, 1:58am

    Mmm and then you creep to the kitchen and drink three glasses of water and it goes sloosh sloosh in your stomach

  • MrYourLastName
    29 points Dec 16,2017, 9:38pm

    Wot

  • Kymbous
    26 points Dec 17,2017, 12:46am

    mmm dromk that tasty WOTER

  • FatGecko5
    10 points Dec 17,2017, 3:37am

    Is this actually a big thing? I know I do it, but are there really so many people that drink water in the middle of the night that I see these posts all the time. They're usually unique too

  • Valiant_Panda
    6 points Dec 17,2017, 3:44am
  • Phionex141
    2 points Dec 17,2017, 5:57am

    I read this in the voice of that bug from Men in Black

  • TheMamid
    1 points Dec 17,2017, 3:07pm

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oh no

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COMMENTS

  • Quizlyx
    16 points Dec 17,2017, 12:23pm

    I had a professor who had both legs amputated after a kayaking accident. When someone obviously didn't do the reading he would sit on the table they were at and fold his prosthetics up and down while asking them more and more detailed questions to make them uncomfortable. I couldn't help but laughing every time

  • Totally_PJ_Soles
    26 points Dec 17,2017, 8:04am

    Why do people refuse to use question marks anymore?

  • SirDanilus
    8 points Dec 17,2017, 11:44am

    I despise when people post stuff on tumblr and then ask who's reblogging it. IF you didn't want it to be reblogged, why did you put it up. Argh.

  • RookBishopPawn
    -15 points Dec 17,2017, 10:00am

    And then everyone stood up clapped... well, except for the lit teacher.Yeah, he's never heard that joke before in his life.

COMMENTS

  • Quizlyx
    16 points Dec 17,2017, 12:23pm

    I had a professor who had both legs amputated after a kayaking accident. When someone obviously didn't do the reading he would sit on the table they were at and fold his prosthetics up and down while asking them more and more detailed questions to make them uncomfortable. I couldn't help but laughing every time

  • Totally_PJ_Soles
    26 points Dec 17,2017, 8:04am

    Why do people refuse to use question marks anymore?

  • SirDanilus
    8 points Dec 17,2017, 11:44am

    I despise when people post stuff on tumblr and then ask who's reblogging it. IF you didn't want it to be reblogged, why did you put it up. Argh.

  • rudeguy5757
    0 points Dec 17,2017, 11:58am

    I liked it.

  • RookBishopPawn
    -15 points Dec 17,2017, 10:00am

    And then everyone stood up clapped... well, except for the lit teacher.Yeah, he's never heard that joke before in his life.