If they were worried they would just get rid of Alexa, right?
This is satire. If its not, it still got a laugh out of me. Well played comrade.
Do they know Alexa can understand whispering too?
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TSA doesn't even care about drugs unless they explode.
I hate it when cashiers ask me for personal services: watch their kids, use my phone, so their homework...
all of my drug deals will be done via tampon from now on
i wish this happened cause fuck the TSA
Only 10 years? The guy bragging sounds SO old.
Pulled from Fox News’ website. It was under an article about Starbucks loosening their facial piercing policy
....but how is the offer of free magnets a threat? And also, he would be knowingly inflicting bodily harm to a person so would still go to jail?
Sounds plausible, family members are assholes.
I need to know how many people replied with "OK BOOMER."
How did they know his name?
Before he left did he slowly say, "And if you ever think about manhandling a woman again... Remember... looks back over shoulder Sammy's always watching."
Who is it?
Don’t touch Sam-mee!
Sammy is selling drugs in that area
Why this situation is so similar to a scene in a bollywood movie kabir singh. Only differance is this sammy dude was calm and kabir singh was angry like hell.
“respect” for a stinky homeless man who literally just CAME on a bus
what the fuck did I just read..?
The bus driver would be fired imidiatly as he let him continue and finish instead of calling the police for public indecency
So the person beside him was like. Yes silent respect for the man. He can jizz anytime.
And now I hate humanity a little bit more.
oh, those womenfolk with their gossiping and somesuch am i right
Even if its true its not even worth mentionning. It can barely be considered humour
Than everyone fapped
I think this could be true but I imagine it was more of an uncomfortable nose exhale than anything else
Hmm Los Cucos - would that be Houston?
He stops making sense at the first sentence. tired—> restaurant (ooh-kay, who cares though)
And what’s with the exclamation marks after stating he went to a restaurant for food!!!!! You don’t say?
I bet he’s a delight to chat with, in person
I don't get it
This happened. I was the POS machine
I don’t get it.
That’s what she said....?
I dunno, I could definitely see the kind of person who would tell this story as also being the kind of person to accidentally tell it partly as dialogue.
HAHAHA DID ANYONE ELSE HEAR THAT THIS GUY SAID SOMETHING THAT CAN ALSO BE SAID DURING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THIS GOD AMONGST MEN
I can believe the pie part, but nobody besides the person who took the photo was looking
Ah yes I’m sure everyone immediately dropped what they were doing to watch this dumbass and his vest eat pie out of a cup
If they didn’t have plates at work, wouldn’t everyone else in the office be eating their pie from a cup?
Love how the only other visible person in the picture is looking nowhere near this moron’s direction
Well, at least one person must be since there’s a PHOTO.
Omg I bet if people heard the conversations they had with their best friend people would think they were crazy!
This is the same person who giggles while she says "I'm so weird!"
In 1977, Robert Franklin produced one of the first commercially available stud detectors. This joke has been around since approximately 15 seconds after it was introduced to the public.
I didn’t even mind the post until the last line. It is a cheesy and overdone dad joke but the part about panties made it super gross and weird.
They only hint hint dropping is that person’s brain cells
Image Transcription: Facebook Post
I'm at Lowe's Home improvement in Boone. I told the lady by the entrance I'm trying to mount a TV and need a stud finder. She told me where to look, I grabbed the cheapest one and checked out. Leaving the store I passed by her and she asked what brand stud finder I got. I pulled it out of the bag, held it against my skin and pressed the button. I told her "I don't know but it's working." 😎😎😎Panties. Are. Dropping.
I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!
I bet she never heard that one before.
Who the fuck puts this in their own comment? That’s like admitting it’s made up.
*BuT nOboDy cAMe
Who watches a kid drowning in a pool and calls for help rather than just jumping in and pulling them out?
"some first aid lifeguard"
I honestly don’t know but I don’t think the usual procedure is to float up from below the kid to get them on your stomach and then swim on your back to get them to safety. Last time I checked there are faster ways of getting a 5 year old out of a pool
T h i s
I once had a similar story to this.We were on vacation in Italy and we rented a house there.(I was there with my parents uncle and grandparents)There was a pool there and my family was in the pool while we were watching tv inside.We went outside and told our parents we were hungry or something I don't remember but they came out of the pool. My sister who was probably a year old somehow got in the pool and was drowning.My dad was talking with my family and he wasnt paying attention.I was young at the time and couldn't swin.
But when I saw my sister In the pool I kept yelling dad and he didn't listen so I gave him a little push and he said what? I pointed to my sister and my dad jumped in the pool and saved her.and now I fucking regret it and wish everyday that I didn't fucking do it because she is an annoying piece of fucking shit
and that's my story
I have a friend that for years insisted that he was on a roller coaster when the lap bar came unlocked. He managed to hold himself in for the duration of the ride. He said when he got off the ride, he brought it to the attendants attention who paid him $50 cash money not to tell.
Probably because it was written by a porpoise.
And then the pool chairs clapped
His use of "than" rather than "then" makes this really confusing to read.
But nobody came
How do you see a 5 year old drowning and not cum?
Wait did this really happen this is so cool good for you
And then everyone clapped
Hey! I haven’t seen a Gave Me $100 story in awhile!
The kids name you might ask? None other than Stephen Hawking!
The thing that annoyed me most was 100$ not $100
Spent the 100 bucks on buying likes?
maybe it has 500 likes because he is a HERO???? /s
"but nobody came"r/undertale
And then everyone, including
Bro if you could swim why did you call for help in the first place? Help should’ve been your first instinct
It got 500 likes because its unbelievable
I think the most touching part of that comment had to be "this", like when I read that I started crying
Probably people ignorant enough to believe its true, rather than actually reading it twice and seeing there is more wrong than right with it.
It’s true, I was the pool
I saved a kid from drowning and got in trouble because you’re supposed to let lifeguards do their job I guess
honestly it’s somewhat believable until the last part
Like pretending to save a kids life isn't enough, you have to be seen as a hero AND get a prize smh
That's not how you save a drowning person. That's how you get kicked.
I feel like this person learned how to write the same day they wrote this.
And everyone clapped
Strikes me as a joke to begin with.It's the "but nobody came" that tips me off to it.
Well he literally got $100% for his actions so that happened.
Omg my kid nearly drowned here’s $100 lol
Some friends of ours rented out a community pool for their kids birthday party. Most of the kids were between 4 and 9 years old so several kids, including one of mine, wore a life vest. Once it was time to eat, all the kids gather around and I took the vest off my 4 year old. His immediate response was to run straight back into the pool that was a few feet away. I immediately jumped in after him and passed him up to my wife. All-in-all it was more of a comedic moment than anything else, but I still joke that it’s realistic lesson in unfair perspectives. Had that not been my kid, I’d be a hero...but it wasn’t. And because he was my kid, I should have stood in a way to stop him in the first place. I was the momentarily bad parent that just did the expected thing to correct for being wrong earlier.
Is that a motherfucking joj- i mean Undertale reference?
Did he call the kid “it”
Most people wouldn't even recognize a person is drowning. It doesn't look like what most people think it looks like and it doesn't look anything like what is generally depicted on movies and shows.
I had almost had a stroke reading this.
You kidding? This sounds true I remember when I was 5 and I could hold my breathe for 5 minutes straight in water. Nice moments
Sometimes, I could reach 10 minutes, I was one with the pool
I saved my cousin from drowning for like a few seconds before i called a lifeguard and i didn't earn crap
Does anyone else hate how they use “than” instead of “then”? Oh the grammanity
Dude tf, I was Nobody, I came to help and he didn't give me credit. Sucks to be him, I got 1000$ and he only got 100$
How big was that pool
No I was there I was the $100
He let the kid drown for 5 minutes while calling for help before responding?
“Well if you told me you were drowning/I’d eventually lend a hand.”
Made with Love in New York City, New Jersey & Monterrey, Mexico.