Then we all went round his house and had an orgy with his mom while his dad sat in the corner clapping
This post is ga-ross.
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It's like a creative writing exercise
Two words. Roll playing chat room dude.
And that night the boy was pegged by his mom for his cruelty and insolence and his dad filmed the whole thing on his phone and uploaded it to the internet.
That’s an old joke
This one actually happened, I was on the road. After the officer let him go, everyone pulled over, got out of their cars, and applauded. The officer then escorted us all to the nearest dealership and bought us all lightly used SUVs.
Isn’t this from HIMYM?
Looks like the OPs from r/facepalm are leaking over here now...
This is the oldest cop joke in the book.
Great title man
I got pulled over by the police today. I was apparently his first speeder because when he got to my window he said, “I’ve been waiting all day for you.” I said “I got here as fast as I could.” He let me go.
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Why are the e’s all weird?
Because lord forbids police letting speed offenders go with a warning
This is a famous old joke that someone told in the first person for comedic effect. Definitely not /r/thathappened material
This person has never been pulled over
Lol that’s the plot to a Nicholas cage movie called stolen
"It was a pine cone" was not how I would have imagined a story about shooting your friend in the leg, to end.
Facebook is truly brain dead
I would shoot my best friend's and my own leg to get $10million
Yes. In all of your eight years on this earth, you definitely know someone all that happened to.
vendor to self...
Who says “sling” that many times
I honestly have no idea what's going on
I work with discount codes and we sling them around quite a bit. They don’t cost us anything. The only thing that doesn’t ring true is the surprise that anyone reads the T&Cs. If the customer is older than 40, they at least skim them.
Younger people don’t read them because they trust in the outrage of social media to bring justice into balance. It’s actually a very efficient solution. The older people still don’t trust the communal power of the internet and still assume they are on their own vis a vis corporations.
Sling yourself off a cliff.
Nah this is true. As someone who worked in support chat, every time someone asked for free money we just gave it to them. If they asked for a manager, more free money! Companies love giving you free money for asking for a manager! /s
Good hustle, here's your upvote ⬆️
That vendors name? Albert Einstein
On livechat support for the online shop I'm buying a dishwasher from:
Me> the discount code you emailed me no longer works
vendor> yep it expired
me> it had no expiry date in the email.
vendor> It's in the terms and conditions but I'll accept it as a courtesy.
me> sees an ad to enter a chance to win $500
vendor> anything else I can do for you?
me> no, thanks
me> goes and lies about it on the internet
This guy really wrote vender to self
What do people gain from lying about this kind of stuff? Is it to flex? I don’t understand..
Their decision to use a ">" rather than a ":" between the name of the person speaking and what they're saying really sets me off-kilter.
Its written in a cunty way but the actual events aren’t unbelievable at all
$25 off a dishwasher is a really small discount to be bragging over
legal and marketing teams to selves: he got us guys, we've been slung.
Then the coupon clapped
What is even remotely unlikely about this? Discount codes get thrown around like Halloween candy.
I'm always so torn with this subreddit I want to downvote because the people are so cringe but I know that thats why we are upvoting
It happen, I was the discount code and I clapped.
Some people call it a Kaiser Blade, mmmmhmmm.
Seems reasonably plausible to me. Probably not the exact words that were used, but still, it seems like something that could very well happen.
As someone who works in CX: no.
Some folks call it a Kaiser blade, but I call it a sling blade....
Please are you kidding me? It actually went like this:
Customer: neglects to send off rebate forms before the expiration date.
Customer: calls and claims was sent wrong forms and bad info
Customer: yells and yells
Customer: demands to speak to manager
Manager: gives customer discount and blacklists customer
It's the Cash Slinging Cashier!
vendor manager> good hustle "slaps butt"
me> yo, man. im not on your team!
This was hard to follow
Were they buying a sling?
That made me groan. And not in a sexy way.
This story didn't happen but also requires you have been there to understand what the fuck is going on
Two to the one to the one to the three
Its true. I was the phone.
pretty sure this is just a silly story not meant to be real
Tried this with google, after a hour manager told me to fuck off
I guarantee no live chat manager has ever said. ‘Good hustle’ Not even mumbled vendor to self
And then he gave me a full kitchen set for free and s trip to the Bahamas
What the fuck even is this title? Calling r/ihadastroke
The way this is written is obnoxious BUT I don't see what's weird about this. Online stores throw around discount codes like they're nothing.
A new dishwasher is like $500+. Dude is bragging about getting a 5% discount.
v e n d o r t o s e l f
And then everyone clapped
Somebody sling me a 2x4 so I can sling it at this idiot's head.
And then Freddie Mercury clapped.
And then the manager came rushing in and gave them a $200 coupon for being cool.
Is that what a mom has to do to be cool
What really happened: I shouted “mom”. She replied “just killed a man”, even though the line is really “mama”. We both kind of smiled and then we found each other and that was it
The lights went out and I saw a little silhoutto of a man.I cried out “Scaramouche! scaramouche!” And I did the fandango.A storm came in after that.Thunderbolts and lightning. Very very frightening me!”
My mom sometimes answers with "Just killed a man" after I call out to her, but we never finish the Bohemian rhapsody, cause that got annoying real quick.
So what I'm saying is, from my experience at least, this is farfetched for real. They might've done it at home though.
Ooooh boi, time to get downvoted
This actually is quite possible. Though i doubt they went through the entire song, so r/maybehappened
Sounds about white
even as a queen fan if i heard someone yelling borhap lyrics in the store i would cringe
If it was actually true it'd be a great moment
I believe this is plausible
Then Freddie Mercury came back from the dead, clapped, and said “Well done darling” then went back to being dead.
This was nowhere close to happening.
Honestly doesn’t sound that far fetched tbh
You guys don't believe anything, do you?
What's so hard to believe about someone having the confidence and type of relationship with their mother for this to happen?
You know I'm different I like this indie band called queen you probably never heard of them my music tastes are so weird lol
It’s true I was the cash
Where does he plan on stashing said cash and when can I find it unattended?
It's true, i was the bag
If true (it's not), this is a surefire way to get gang-murdered.
August. Must be the 8th of 12 kids.
Jesus, what a fucked up thing to say to a kid.
Feels really bad that my name is showing up in fake stories.
"I think your labored breathing and type II diabetes is beautiful, mom."
Maybe I'm nuts but her 1 year old must be fuckin huge if that's his size.
Made with Love in New York City, New Jersey & Monterrey, Mexico.