ThatHappened

See that could have the tiniest grain of truth in it, but they have to take it too far and make it sound stupid.

The other day me and my daughter (3) went into the city for something, and there was a homeless chap sitting by the station. He was begging for some food, and my girl got very sad and asked if we could get some food for him. No big words or clever concepts. Just ‘he’s hungry, would he like a bun?’ She also suggested a cuddle, but I had to draw the line somewhere.

How stupid are these people? Do they think anyone believes this crap?

That’s what you get for fucking Socrates I guess

Three year olds don’t use words like “devastating”. I know because I worked with them for over four years..

Well to bad for your son because he is going to grow up in a literally dead world.

ngl I came from your profile and thought this was an snktweet

[deleted]

A stupid story, but at least she's spreading awareness of this.

I cried about water shortages when I was 5 lol, but I agree 3 is way too young to be believable

Awwwww Live, Love, Laugh...

Nothing, cause he doesn’t exist obv

These are classic little Johnny jokes. Doesn’t belong here 🤦🏻‍♂️

BARS

Whoever she is, I hate her.

Imagine cycling through that argument for twenty minutes.

Guess the Matchbox toys finally arrived

Well somebody has to tell her its a Chevrolet and not a Chauvrolet.

This is an avengers level threat

"...Started sharing stories of their metal straw." I bet those stories were as exciting as this one

this is so amazing. its wonderful people care so superficially about the planet they think they are making a difference by not using a plastic lid and straw. way to go team!

I think the biggest tell is that the ice cream machine was working

Then the styrofoam cup turned into a dove, and we were all like "AAAAAAH FILTHY SKY RAT!" and I crushed it with my bare hands and it got turned into a 4 piece McNugget.

[removed]

Then she stumbled on her way out and ended up spilling half her milkshake on herself and the floor.

Ya like McDonald's employees have that kind of enthusiasm..😐

Implying a McDonalds employee can afford to spend money on shit like metal straws

What really happened: Had a shake at McDonald's with a plastic lid and straw.

Explain how you know this is fake.

I instinctively downvoted upon reading that before realizing what this sub is and that I was on reddit lol

I have positively no idea how someone can believe such a ludicrous story.

I want to down vote it so hard, but I know that this is appropriate to the subreddit, good one op

Then he pondered a while and said, "But wait father, upon reflection, does not this land belong to the native peoples? Should it not be returned to it's rightful owners, the wonderful Sioux, Cree, Blackfoot and other nations of the great plains? For it is not truly my America! I would like to go potty now."

I work with kids this age, everything he/she said seems believable if you’re a fucking moron

Doofensmirtz Evil Incorporated

There is no way a 1 and a half year old baby spoke actual words and understood you

"My 18-month old son built this. I told him good job, then took it and sold it, and gave him 5% of the value that his work generated. He cried, so I told him, 'That's capitalism. That's your life forever.'

"He looked me dead in the eye and said: 'God bless America.'"

/r/WokeKids

In post-industrial capitalism, the kid will not earn enough to be able to live in the building he helped build.

That's got to be satire

This is clearly satire, guys

Satire surely?

This sounds like some Ron Swanson shit

i looked on twitter and his replies make it seem pretty satire

Obviously satire

He should've said "so I took half of it and gave some to the poor, some to the military and teachers, and the rest went to roads and hospitals.

This has to be satire

This is obviously satire.

how retarded do you have to be to not understand this is a joke? how would an 18 month old even reach that high?

... does he not pay taxes? At least in socialism you might get something back for them.

This has got to be satire?

Hope I’m not the only one who saw the Evil. Inc tower from phineas and ferb

I read it as “eighteen year old.” God, I was confused

I thought this said 18 year old at first and I was even more confused

I wonder if any AIs can identify satire better than humans.

Haha, yes! What a very serious and not satirical post. How humorous!

i just threw up in my mouth a lil

And then everyone started clapping

What a weird thing to fantasize about

ok real talk is it just me or does that look like doofenshmirtz evil incorporated

Oh damn, now he's definitely dropping out of the race.

That looks like doofenshmirtz’s tower

guy being dumb about his kids lego and socialism proves that totalitarian communism is correct

unironic btw

And then Donald Trump clapped

Fuck you 2 year old of mine. Politics.

more fake news from the Russian trolls

I read this as his 18 year old and I was very confused

I’d have believed this if it said after 15 minutes when he stopped crying I said...

Wait is that what the Americans think of the Danish?

So the parent took half of that before taking the pic? If not that thing almost scrapped the roof

That’s one tall 18 month old!

My employer seizes 90% of value that I have created, the thing that they describe in this tweet is a slightly more humane capitalism.

Doofersmich

No, he said, “Father, it’s ludicrous and fallacious that you would compare something like me being annoyed at you taking some blocks to the reallocation of recourses so that the more fortunate may share with those who weren’t born into wealth. If surrendering some of my blocks allowed my fellow citizens to live more prosperous lives, then I’d happily give them up.

But since they don’t, get your motherfucking hands off of my tower that I was somehow able to miraculously put together at this impossibly young age!!!!”

The tower is twice as tall as an 18 month old with arms outstretched lol

I hate to see such a perfect post ruined by a bunch of toxic comments.

its down to 18 months, whats next new borns?

ah yes because 18-month-olds can totally form coherent sentences

even the toy pug in the background's like "what kind of CRACK are you smoking!?"

Then I said "oh no, you bumped your head, had to go to the hospital, and now I have all your blocks plus you have to go to the store and buy me more."

I.generally don't know what socialism is

How can people be so dumb to think that that's the definition of socialism?

r/Basedkids

Actually tbh.... It didn't stop there. .

...." Then I took away all the pieces but 2 and challenged him to build the tower of same height. He cried, so I told him " that's capitalism and deal with it now that you are already born here". Meanwhile, his immigrant friend came over to play; so, I took away one more and told him "watch out, that immigrant friend of yours might just take away all you have". My son held on to that one piece, looked me dead in the eye and said " not in my America" ...

So that's how it ends ..!!!

It's easy to find that account and it's more fun to read ALL the replies.

Did ya give him free healthcare, social security, housing aid, 50days of holiday per year and workers’ rights in exchange?

These bullshitters are just getting lazier with their lies, at least make it sound realistic

Wait Bernie is socialist?

Well wouldn't that be nice.

USA becoming the thing it was fighting during cold war xD.

This has to be satire?

If he really wants to teach the kid a lesson in how things actually are right now, he can take like 40% of it, then wait til the little shit stubs his toe, put a band-aid on it, and take the rest.

That was clearly a joke, doof.

Of course it’s impossible to take the advantages of socialism and combine them with capitalism,considering this and that some countrieseven have less taxes with way... better life standards (cough Switzerland...).Countries like Germany are amongst the higher taxing countries,but even they only have a 5% higher top tax rate, you only have to pay if you earn >8500€/y at like 14%, but everyone has working healthcare. No ifs and buts.

Some people are just plainly lost in the cold war.

Is that doofenshmertz tower?

🎵🎶doofenshmirtz evil incorperated🎶🎵

If they said he was like 8 maybe I’d be like well eh I mean it atleast has a chance of being true, 18 months? They can’t even talk properly like damn

I don’t want socialism but come on this is just sad

This tweet reads as a joke that OP has either taken seriously or knows its a joke but is posting it anyway for the out-of-context karma.

People are really dumb though, so maybe this person is trying to tell people their 18 month old said "Not in my America".

18 month old can say America?! 18 month old can stack LEGO’s.. jeezus people.

Gotta love when people make up fake shit to push their beliefs

That kid has autism :(

Yea I’m pretty sure that’s called a joke

That kid has autism :(

Mom isn't wrong. But also her kid didn't say that. Shut up Karen.

"Now I'm considered an expert on them".

Suree...so am I on unicorns.

I mean being an expert on Asian salt water crocodiles is cool but being an expert on not making a paragraph a sentence will get you further in life.

Turns out all the other experts died in the same plane crash the day before

this is a run-on sentence. and holy hell, a long one, too

Then the entire class applauded.

Whee the hell is she paying .083 for a cliff bar?

I love cashiers who hand out discounts.

It was at least a little believabel until the magic no bullshit discount

Essentially everything on r/entitledparents.

My first question is why does this person think it’s so weird for someone to buy 12 onions? She would probably have a heart attack if she ever saw when me or my wife buy the big 50 lb bag.

At least she knows she's an egotistical person.

This could have happened, but more because the driver had a stereotype of gamers being hideously weird introverts rather than chatty. Might not have been a gender thing.

I’ve witnessed similar interactions. People always assume anyone that loves gaming enough to go to the convention is a fat guy living in a basement.

I hate it when people say that their kids "couldn't possibly" know shit.

I'm a WFHM and when they are little my kids are under my supervision most of their waking hours. Still, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that it's not possible that someone, at some point taught them something I didn't. Hell, my kids are around Hispanic kids for about 30 seconds and they pick up on Spanish or Portuguese at the playground. Half the time they can't even say the fucking English word.

​

It's so stupid people think this way. Why such a crushing need to be "special?"

I cheered, but it sure wasn't in this life.

You mean the German alphabet which uses the exact same letters as the english one?

"I always had memories of my past lives".

Stopped there, couldn't go any further. Take my updoot.

Image Transcription: Reddit

My daughter confirmed my beliefs., 55 points, submitted by [Redacted Redditor] to /r/Reincarnation

I always had memories of my past lives. The strongest was the memory of being behind a tall chain fence with barbed wire and guard towers. I also remember being placed on a table and slid into an over. I remember the sound of the gas and the spark of the flame ignited.

This life, I was raised in a christian home with a mother who would dismiss my claims and eventually, I forgot, until I learned about WWII. I remember thinking, "they only burnt the dead and I remember being alive". This couldn't be a memory.

It wasn't until much later that I learned of the prison camp Dachau, and that burning people alive was something they did.

Years later I had my third daughter. Before she could speak, she would sing the German alphabet! As she grew older she would say things like: "I am glad you are my mom this time." Or: "This family is much better than my last."

It is easy to think that what you remember couldn't be true. To think that maybe it was just your childhood imagination gone wild. But to hear my daughter speak in another language in a home that only spoke English. For her to make those off hand comments really opened my eyes. It helped me to feel less crazy.

[1st Commenter], -4 points

We were all tricked into entering the reincarnation cycle. We need to escape this prison matrix world.

[2nd Commenter], 12 points

I'm having a great time. I love every second of life and I want to live as many times as possible. I don't want to end.

^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

The scariest thing about this sub is seeing how all these different fucked up people are screwing up their kids' lives.

I see a surge in psychologists in the future.

Guys, we need to escape this prison matrix world ASAP.

Before she could speak she recited the german alphabet. Mentally maybe?

This is unbelievably disrespectful to Jews and other groups who suffered through the Holocaust, especially those who are related to or know someone who was a victim of it. As someone who is partially Ashkenazi, I’m angry that someone would post about “remembering” being burnt alive in a death camp. Their fantasies, their “imagination gone wild” trivializes the terrible tragedy that millions upon millions went through.

There might actually be some evidence of reincarnation, check out Dr. Ian Stevenson's work where he has some pretty compelling evidence from young children.

but the German alphabet is the same as English with ü ä ö included