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I entered a tournament for my Karate style, didn't do too well, but ended up qualifying for the world cup by default anyway...

TrollX: You are now doing kegels.

COMMENTS

  • WantingHuskies
    25 points Mar 25,2019, 5:18am

    Despite the fact I've been a 1st dan black belt for about 5 years, been doing karate for 14 years, I'd never entered a tournament. They've always scared me. This year, the world cup is in the UK, and I'm on this "let do a new thing a year" kick, and was like fuck it! first tournament, biggest one in my style and the second most competitive division, why the fuck not? right?

    So there I was, oldest woman in a division of young amazing athletes, women who train for years for these events. I'd been training for about 4 months, and as it turned out, on the wrong routines thanks to a bad bit of information from my regional instructor.

    They all knew and supported each other, I was just some rando glancing around the hall, looking for the people I knew from my local club who were there. I think they had forgotten I entered. My housemate was in the stands at least, she was proud I was even there.

    I was up, did my half trained routine I'd practiced outside an hour before, next to a confident woman who knew exactly what she was doing. It went okay, by which I mean my opponent was unanimously voted the winner, as expected. And I was knocked out of the first round. But, I tried with everything I had.

    After the whole division was over, and they'd handed out the medals and announced that everyone who competed in our division had a place to compete in the world cup. Now I know what the whole thing is all about, and I know what routines I'm actually supposed to be doing... I'm going to take my default qualifier and enter anyway.

    Why the fuck not? right?

  • patti1984
    3 points Mar 25,2019, 2:30pm

    Good luck!!!!

  • singleusepacket
    1 points Mar 25,2019, 7:07pm

    So happy for you!

COMMENTS

  • WantingHuskies
    25 points Mar 25,2019, 5:18am

    Despite the fact I've been a 1st dan black belt for about 5 years, been doing karate for 14 years, I'd never entered a tournament. They've always scared me. This year, the world cup is in the UK, and I'm on this "let do a new thing a year" kick, and was like fuck it! first tournament, biggest one in my style and the second most competitive division, why the fuck not? right?

    So there I was, oldest woman in a division of young amazing athletes, women who train for years for these events. I'd been training for about 4 months, and as it turned out, on the wrong routines thanks to a bad bit of information from my regional instructor.

    They all knew and supported each other, I was just some rando glancing around the hall, looking for the people I knew from my local club who were there. I think they had forgotten I entered. My housemate was in the stands at least, she was proud I was even there.

    I was up, did my half trained routine I'd practiced outside an hour before, next to a confident woman who knew exactly what she was doing. It went okay, by which I mean my opponent was unanimously voted the winner, as expected. And I was knocked out of the first round. But, I tried with everything I had.

    After the whole division was over, and they'd handed out the medals and announced that everyone who competed in our division had a place to compete in the world cup. Now I know what the whole thing is all about, and I know what routines I'm actually supposed to be doing... I'm going to take my default qualifier and enter anyway.

    Why the fuck not? right?

  • patti1984
    3 points Mar 25,2019, 2:30pm

    Good luck!!!!

  • singleusepacket
    1 points Mar 25,2019, 7:07pm

    So happy for you!

● ● ●

HIFW I'm in the hospital recovering after my hysterectomy. No more endometriosis and insane cycles!

TrollX: You are now doing kegels.

● ● ●

I made an art. Thought y’all would appreciate it?

TrollX: You are now doing kegels.

COMMENTS

  • kneecapslock
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 8:42pm

    I have been thinking about one of these, but they seem kind of intimidating. 😬

  • mike_pants
    3 points Mar 24,2019, 6:53pm

    My gf-now-wife had never had an O until we brought Mr. Hitachi into our lives. We are forever grateful to our buzzy lil pal.

  • zoeykailyn
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 6:28pm

    So good I cum twice just getting myself in the mood😼

COMMENTS

  • kneecapslock
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 8:42pm

    I have been thinking about one of these, but they seem kind of intimidating. 😬

  • mike_pants
    3 points Mar 24,2019, 6:53pm

    My gf-now-wife had never had an O until we brought Mr. Hitachi into our lives. We are forever grateful to our buzzy lil pal.

  • zoeykailyn
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 6:28pm

    So good I cum twice just getting myself in the mood😼

● ● ●

i feel personally singled out

TrollX: You are now doing kegels.

COMMENTS

  • Rusted_Metalworker
    21 points Mar 23,2019, 9:50pm

    shit iktf

  • freak_shack
    16 points Mar 24,2019, 1:33am

    🤣🤣🤣 oh lawdy they got me this time

  • accio-tardis
    9 points Mar 24,2019, 5:36am

    Ooof. Teens too. Here’s hoping thirties are better.

  • ashton9905
    5 points Mar 24,2019, 3:07am

    Yea....pretty much

  • moonflowerbabe
    4 points Mar 24,2019, 9:19am

    Woooow. Way to attack me, dude. 😂

  • daloneliestchirpee
    3 points Mar 24,2019, 11:24am

    You and me both...

  • madamsquirrelly
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 12:00pm

COMMENTS

  • Rusted_Metalworker
    21 points Mar 23,2019, 9:50pm

    shit iktf

  • freak_shack
    16 points Mar 24,2019, 1:33am

    🤣🤣🤣 oh lawdy they got me this time

  • accio-tardis
    9 points Mar 24,2019, 5:36am

    Ooof. Teens too. Here’s hoping thirties are better.

  • marigoldilocks_
    8 points Mar 24,2019, 2:54am

    That’s a fucking mood.

  • ashton9905
    5 points Mar 24,2019, 3:07am

    Yea....pretty much

  • moonflowerbabe
    4 points Mar 24,2019, 9:19am

    Woooow. Way to attack me, dude. 😂

  • daloneliestchirpee
    3 points Mar 24,2019, 11:24am

    You and me both...

  • madamsquirrelly
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 12:00pm

● ● ●

eyes (xpost r/tumblr)

TrollX: You are now doing kegels.

● ● ●

MRW when I see a roach literally hide outside my microwave door. I bought traps but am ready to take drastic measures.

TrollX: You are now doing kegels.

COMMENTS

  • Silverinkbottle
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 6:14pm

    I keep my place as clean as I can but my apartment building is old and there were a few cracks in the pantry ceiling. When my loud as hell and apparently messy as hell neighbor finally got evicted and or kicked out, my landlord pretty much nuked the apartment. Guess where all the roaches decided to navigate through those little tiny cracks. It’s not as bad as it was before but..anyone else have any suggestions on handling the occasional roach?

  • AliceLostInLaLaLand
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 6:26pm

    Ugh I’m sorry, also I have no advice for you, sorry.

    Those centipede things in the comic terrify me. They move around so quickly and seem to come and go from nowhere. And they’re hard to kill. I tried crushing one once and it lived.

  • Silverinkbottle
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 6:33pm

    I literally just tossed my microwave in the dumpster..guess what was pouring out of it as I was nuking something..little baby roaches🤮🤮

  • zoeykailyn
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 6:31pm

    Ortho home defense, kills everything but bed bugs....those assholes need something special

  • MaybeTheresa
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 7:05pm

    Hmm, I guess you know the usual things of keeping your place clean and dry. Take the trash out in the evening. Keep your cereals in closed containers, that stuff. The one thing that I haven't seen online: Keep surface cleaner at hand in the kitchen. I'm very consistent at killing ones I get to see by spraying them.

  • a-little-sleepy
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 7:40pm

    Mukade are demons!

  • doom_gerbil
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 8:51pm

    Uuuugggghh house centipedes... I respect most bugs' right to do what bugs do, but those definitely need to die in a fire. It's the one thing that I will bust out the 'screaming woman standing on a chair' card for and make my husband take care of it. I know they're good bugs, and I don't care. Blech.

    I know the struggles with roaches (and fleas!) based on the awful state of neighboring apartments, I'm sorry you have to deal with that! (I have no helpful solutions, the roaches moved on to dirtier places eventually.)

COMMENTS

  • Silverinkbottle
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 6:14pm

    I keep my place as clean as I can but my apartment building is old and there were a few cracks in the pantry ceiling. When my loud as hell and apparently messy as hell neighbor finally got evicted and or kicked out, my landlord pretty much nuked the apartment. Guess where all the roaches decided to navigate through those little tiny cracks. It’s not as bad as it was before but..anyone else have any suggestions on handling the occasional roach?

  • AliceLostInLaLaLand
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 6:26pm

    Ugh I’m sorry, also I have no advice for you, sorry.

    Those centipede things in the comic terrify me. They move around so quickly and seem to come and go from nowhere. And they’re hard to kill. I tried crushing one once and it lived.

  • Silverinkbottle
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 6:33pm

    I literally just tossed my microwave in the dumpster..guess what was pouring out of it as I was nuking something..little baby roaches🤮🤮

  • bad_luck_dragon
    2 points Mar 24,2019, 7:49pm

    I battled a roach infestation for 4 years. (Live in a crappy trailer park. Landlord evicted a bunch of people who were basically trash, and all the roaches ran to my place. Landlord wouldn't do anything, but that's another story.)

    I tried it all. Raid, Hot Shot, Combat, Ortho.

    I tried baits, traps, sprays, etc.

    The only thing I found that worked was boric acid. (This is what I ordered.)

    Our infestation was bad. I'm talking eating through plastic to get to bread bad. Falling off the ceiling bad. Having to keep any food that wasn't canned in the fridge. Getting roach bites in our sleep bad.

    Like I said, nothing really worked. We'd kill some off, but they'd develop an immunity to the poisons and baits we'd use.

    Then I tried the acid.

    First day; nothing died. Thought I'd wasted yet more money.

    Second day; a few dead bugs, but nothing to talk about.

    Third day, we were having to sweep/vacuum hourly because of how many were dying.

    By the end of the week I'd say 95% of our roaches were dead. By the end of the month we rarely saw any, and those got quickly squished.

    It's been almost a year since I started using it. Haven't seen a roach in a couple of months now.

    If you go this route, put it along the baseboards in each room. Put it under any appliance that stays plugged in. Line the inside of your cabinets with it.

    You don't want a lot in any one space; just enough for them to walk through.

    It'll stick to their bodies. When they ingest it, it eventually attacks their nervous system and kills them. If they don't ingest it, their body absorbs it, and it kills them.

    Best part is, is that it's not fast acting. So the roaches take it back to the nest, where other roaches come in contact with it. Then when the first roach dies, other roaches eat that roach, and the poison is spread.

    Basically when you're putting it out, you want a very thin line. Think cocaine line, but skinnier.

  • zoeykailyn
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 6:31pm

    Ortho home defense, kills everything but bed bugs....those assholes need something special

  • MaybeTheresa
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 7:05pm

    Hmm, I guess you know the usual things of keeping your place clean and dry. Take the trash out in the evening. Keep your cereals in closed containers, that stuff. The one thing that I haven't seen online: Keep surface cleaner at hand in the kitchen. I'm very consistent at killing ones I get to see by spraying them.

  • a-little-sleepy
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 7:40pm

    Mukade are demons!

  • doom_gerbil
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 8:51pm

    Uuuugggghh house centipedes... I respect most bugs' right to do what bugs do, but those definitely need to die in a fire. It's the one thing that I will bust out the 'screaming woman standing on a chair' card for and make my husband take care of it. I know they're good bugs, and I don't care. Blech.

    I know the struggles with roaches (and fleas!) based on the awful state of neighboring apartments, I'm sorry you have to deal with that! (I have no helpful solutions, the roaches moved on to dirtier places eventually.)

● ● ●

Trying out a new recipe

TrollX: You are now doing kegels.

COMMENTS

  • Zarzel
    31 points Mar 24,2019, 6:16pm

    Blood pudding? I need a good comeback for when my husband asks what's cooking.

  • DOCTORDOGTOR_MD
    15 points Mar 24,2019, 5:00pm

    That's a good one

  • WhyAreYouAllHere
    10 points Mar 24,2019, 7:42pm

    You can have my menstrual cup when you pry it out of my cold, dead vagina.

    I will never go back to tampons. The cost, the discomfort, the lack of ease - to hell with tampons (for my person).

  • Deranfan
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 8:35pm

    What's this?

COMMENTS

  • Zarzel
    31 points Mar 24,2019, 6:16pm

    Blood pudding? I need a good comeback for when my husband asks what's cooking.

  • DOCTORDOGTOR_MD
    15 points Mar 24,2019, 5:00pm

    That's a good one

  • WhyAreYouAllHere
    10 points Mar 24,2019, 7:42pm

    You can have my menstrual cup when you pry it out of my cold, dead vagina.

    I will never go back to tampons. The cost, the discomfort, the lack of ease - to hell with tampons (for my person).

  • tioomeow
    13 points Mar 24,2019, 6:26pm

    Is it vegan?

  • Deranfan
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 8:35pm

    What's this?

● ● ●

Trolls, tomorrow I am taking a stand for my mental health, my happiness, and my own well-being. I'm handing in my resignation.

TrollX: You are now doing kegels.

COMMENTS

  • feeltheweird
    20 points Mar 24,2019, 2:22pm

    Congratulations & Good Luck!!!

  • Quasisotropic
    9 points Mar 24,2019, 2:32pm

    It feels sooo good.

  • rotinaj31
    4 points Mar 24,2019, 3:49pm

    Good luck and good for you. I know people who have and some that still do struggle with shitty work environments myself included at one point. I'm sure better opportunities will be on the horizon.

  • Alecto1717
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 8:40pm

    Good luck! Best decision I ever made!

    That picture still has me laughing too, great find 🤣😂

  • strawberryshortycake
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 7:22pm

    *ape

    Congrats OP!!

COMMENTS

  • feeltheweird
    20 points Mar 24,2019, 2:22pm

    Congratulations & Good Luck!!!

  • Quasisotropic
    9 points Mar 24,2019, 2:32pm

    It feels sooo good.

  • rotinaj31
    4 points Mar 24,2019, 3:49pm

    Good luck and good for you. I know people who have and some that still do struggle with shitty work environments myself included at one point. I'm sure better opportunities will be on the horizon.

  • tehzephyrsong
    3 points Mar 24,2019, 4:28pm

    Good luck!

    Remember that the 2-week notice period is just a formality. If they get shitty about it, you can always say "Perhaps it would be best if today is my last day," and then just fucking bounce. You'll lose this week's pay, but they'll still mail you your last check (and if they don't, your state's Department of Labor would love to hear about it). What are they going to do, fire you? (tip: if it's as toxic as you say, it's in their best interest to not fire you - if you voluntarily resign you'll have a harder time qualifying for unemployment benefits.)

    If you want to spend a bit of time in the morning writing up some documentation about what duties/projects you were handling, the current status, and who should be contacted about them going forward, that would be courteous of you, but it's not required, either.

  • Alecto1717
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 8:40pm

    Good luck! Best decision I ever made!

    That picture still has me laughing too, great find 🤣😂

  • strawberryshortycake
    1 points Mar 24,2019, 7:22pm

    *ape

    Congrats OP!!

● ● ●

Ask me how I know

TrollX: You are now doing kegels.

COMMENTS

  • No_regrats
    53 points Mar 23,2019, 1:14am

    WTF?

    If your husband fucks you in your sleep after you told him not to (or generally without asking first and you'd have said no if asked), that's rape. If this is something that has happened to you OP, I'm very sorry this happened. Please know that it's very much not ok or normal, that it's not your fault, and that you deserve better.

  • aFunnyWorldWeLiveIn
    16 points Mar 23,2019, 2:54am

    I’m so sorry that happened to you, and that people around you were so shitty to you after you already had to deal with your husband. I’m happy for you that you left, I hope things get better for you from now on.

  • Ribbons1223
    10 points Mar 23,2019, 6:46am

    I'm so very sorry that it happened to you, OP. :(

COMMENTS

  • No_regrats
    53 points Mar 23,2019, 1:14am

    WTF?

    If your husband fucks you in your sleep after you told him not to (or generally without asking first and you'd have said no if asked), that's rape. If this is something that has happened to you OP, I'm very sorry this happened. Please know that it's very much not ok or normal, that it's not your fault, and that you deserve better.

  • aFunnyWorldWeLiveIn
    16 points Mar 23,2019, 2:54am

    I’m so sorry that happened to you, and that people around you were so shitty to you after you already had to deal with your husband. I’m happy for you that you left, I hope things get better for you from now on.

  • Ribbons1223
    10 points Mar 23,2019, 6:46am

    I'm so very sorry that it happened to you, OP. :(

  • NASA1967
    -61 points Mar 22,2019, 9:56pm

    How do you know?

● ● ●

[throwaway] Trolls help - how do I get over insecurities actually dating women?

TrollX: You are now doing kegels.

COMMENTS

  • havanablues
    21 points Mar 22,2019, 9:57pm

    What works for me is..... just not dating at all

  • WhatsGoingOnLondon
    15 points Mar 22,2019, 10:00pm

    I have always known I'm pansexual and have a total of two sexual experiences with women (far apart). I have, however, been in three long-term relationships with men (5 years, 6 years, 2 years) so have ZERO experience dating women. A year on from my last breakup I am just getting into online dating and find myself attracted almost 100% to women (to my surprise!)...

    Is that offputting to lesbians and more experienced bi girls?

    How do I assure women that I'm not just jaded with men?

    Am I that kind of woman other women avoid?

    ... Am I just super insecure?

  • I-Am-the-Cold
    0 points Mar 23,2019, 12:43pm

    Just be yourself. It’s like any other relationship.

COMMENTS

  • havanablues
    21 points Mar 22,2019, 9:57pm

    What works for me is..... just not dating at all

  • WhatsGoingOnLondon
    15 points Mar 22,2019, 10:00pm

    I have always known I'm pansexual and have a total of two sexual experiences with women (far apart). I have, however, been in three long-term relationships with men (5 years, 6 years, 2 years) so have ZERO experience dating women. A year on from my last breakup I am just getting into online dating and find myself attracted almost 100% to women (to my surprise!)...

    Is that offputting to lesbians and more experienced bi girls?

    How do I assure women that I'm not just jaded with men?

    Am I that kind of woman other women avoid?

    ... Am I just super insecure?

  • I-Am-the-Cold
    0 points Mar 23,2019, 12:43pm

    Just be yourself. It’s like any other relationship.