AdviceAnimals

Page 1 of 1286

"Do you mean the recipe?" - my wife while we were making dinner

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • Schnorby
    3 points Nov 14,2019, 10:50pm

    I usually quote pirates of the Caribbean when talking about recipes, "they're more what you'd call 'guidelines' than actual rules"

COMMENTS

  • Schnorby
    3 points Nov 14,2019, 10:50pm

    I usually quote pirates of the Caribbean when talking about recipes, "they're more what you'd call 'guidelines' than actual rules"

● ● ●

Dating In Your 30's Is A Lot Like Ice Fishing

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • jquest12
    23 points Nov 14,2019, 9:07pm

    Dating 20 somethings in your 30’s is when you really see the red flags

  • GoldCuty
    27 points Nov 15,2019, 4:39am

    Dating is Your 30's is like looking for a parking spot. The good ones are taken and the others are handicaped.

  • basketballguy4
    6 points Nov 14,2019, 9:40pm

    So dating is basically horrible in my 20s and its going downhill after that, guess I just wasnt ever good enough. I thought the red flags would go away eventually.

  • Exciter79
    5 points Nov 15,2019, 12:14am

    It's much easier to date in your 20's, as we get older things are more difficult. When you are younger you have more of an excuse to not have life's boxes check off, as you get older not so much.

  • ninjalordkeith
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 5:53am

    It’s not just that the good ones are getting taken, it’s that you know yourself a lot better now (i.e. what you really want from a partner) and are also better at identifying the flaws in others.

  • letsburn00
    5 points Nov 15,2019, 1:49am

    The key is to date female Doctors. They have a perfectly reasonable reason to not be all set up. By their 30s they are pretty fine though.

    Unfortunately, they refuse to date anyone paid less than an Engineer... I once went to a NYE with my ex. 6 female Dr's, 5 engineer partners/husbands. The other guy has a PHD.

  • imnotwearingany
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 8:29am

    Like playing Minesweeper on expert.

  • Captian_Cocksmith
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 2:19pm

    Just bang 22 year olds.

  • deleted
    2 points Nov 14,2019, 8:11pm

    [deleted]

  • chumchilla
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 6:39am

    You keep finding cold holes?

COMMENTS

  • jquest12
    23 points Nov 14,2019, 9:07pm

    Dating 20 somethings in your 30’s is when you really see the red flags

  • GoldCuty
    27 points Nov 15,2019, 4:39am

    Dating is Your 30's is like looking for a parking spot. The good ones are taken and the others are handicaped.

  • basketballguy4
    6 points Nov 14,2019, 9:40pm

    So dating is basically horrible in my 20s and its going downhill after that, guess I just wasnt ever good enough. I thought the red flags would go away eventually.

  • Darkcentrial
    5 points Nov 15,2019, 5:49am

    You can't get red flags if you can't get any dates 😅

  • Exciter79
    5 points Nov 15,2019, 12:14am

    It's much easier to date in your 20's, as we get older things are more difficult. When you are younger you have more of an excuse to not have life's boxes check off, as you get older not so much.

  • ninjalordkeith
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 5:53am

    It’s not just that the good ones are getting taken, it’s that you know yourself a lot better now (i.e. what you really want from a partner) and are also better at identifying the flaws in others.

  • letsburn00
    5 points Nov 15,2019, 1:49am

    The key is to date female Doctors. They have a perfectly reasonable reason to not be all set up. By their 30s they are pretty fine though.

    Unfortunately, they refuse to date anyone paid less than an Engineer... I once went to a NYE with my ex. 6 female Dr's, 5 engineer partners/husbands. The other guy has a PHD.

  • imnotwearingany
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 8:29am

    Like playing Minesweeper on expert.

  • Captian_Cocksmith
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 2:19pm

    Just bang 22 year olds.

  • deleted
    2 points Nov 14,2019, 8:11pm

    [deleted]

  • chumchilla
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 6:39am

    You keep finding cold holes?

● ● ●

Frick Cancer

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • yukyum
    11 points Nov 15,2019, 5:28am

    At least you’ll be comfortable watching him pass.

    And yeah, fuck cancer. Stay strong.

  • Nosferatu13
    8 points Nov 15,2019, 12:23am

    I wonder if your father in law would appreciate his last day becoming a meme..

  • poeticdisaster
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 8:06am

    Sorry for your family's loss.

    Hope the chair is comfy.

  • ItGetFancy
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 11:15am

    You’re doing good work, having him in your home. Well done. Cancer truly does suck.

  • Ego-Assassin
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 8:12am

    Fuck tobacco, cigarettes, and cancer.

    Sorry for your loss.

  • oliveyouverymuch
    -1 points Nov 15,2019, 2:04am

    'What the frick?! I ordered an Xbox controller."

  • Rex-the-wolf
    -1 points Nov 15,2019, 12:59am

    Loved this film. Sad though.

  • KarmaPharmacy
    -6 points Nov 15,2019, 2:15am

    Life goes on.

COMMENTS

  • yukyum
    11 points Nov 15,2019, 5:28am

    At least you’ll be comfortable watching him pass.

    And yeah, fuck cancer. Stay strong.

  • Nosferatu13
    8 points Nov 15,2019, 12:23am

    I wonder if your father in law would appreciate his last day becoming a meme..

  • poeticdisaster
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 8:06am

    Sorry for your family's loss.

    Hope the chair is comfy.

  • Scottvrakis
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 8:13am

    Currently going through a major loss of somebody with knuf lung cancer. I feel for you man.

    Edit: What the fuck?

  • ItGetFancy
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 11:15am

    You’re doing good work, having him in your home. Well done. Cancer truly does suck.

  • Ego-Assassin
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 8:12am

    Fuck tobacco, cigarettes, and cancer.

    Sorry for your loss.

  • oliveyouverymuch
    -1 points Nov 15,2019, 2:04am

    'What the frick?! I ordered an Xbox controller."

  • Rex-the-wolf
    -1 points Nov 15,2019, 12:59am

    Loved this film. Sad though.

  • KarmaPharmacy
    -6 points Nov 15,2019, 2:15am

    Life goes on.

● ● ●

Even with the shows I really like...

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • VVuggles
    7 points Nov 15,2019, 1:22pm

    “You like that? You want me to cut to three weeks earlier when you were alive?” - Morty

  • Tonynferno
    7 points Nov 15,2019, 1:45pm

    record scratch, freeze frame

    “Yep, that’s me. I bet you’re wondering how I got in this mess”

  • tjavierb
    3 points Nov 15,2019, 2:50pm

    Yeah, I really hate finding out how they got into that situation.

  • Piemaster113
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 7:20pm

    Starting and episode in medias res is a way for them to keep things from feeling to totally formulaic for every episode. I'm not a fan when movies do it but if done well it can really work for some shows, like the episode of Firefly Out of Gas.

  • walruzz6
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 1:25pm

    There was a show based entirely on this every episode they would start in a weird situation and flash back

  • bearsx3
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 1:45pm

    Agreed. It's lazy storytelling

COMMENTS

  • VVuggles
    7 points Nov 15,2019, 1:22pm

    “You like that? You want me to cut to three weeks earlier when you were alive?” - Morty

  • Tonynferno
    7 points Nov 15,2019, 1:45pm

    record scratch, freeze frame

    “Yep, that’s me. I bet you’re wondering how I got in this mess”

  • tjavierb
    3 points Nov 15,2019, 2:50pm

    Yeah, I really hate finding out how they got into that situation.

  • sineofthetimes
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 2:53pm

    So, Ghandi?

  • Piemaster113
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 7:20pm

    Starting and episode in medias res is a way for them to keep things from feeling to totally formulaic for every episode. I'm not a fan when movies do it but if done well it can really work for some shows, like the episode of Firefly Out of Gas.

  • walruzz6
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 1:25pm

    There was a show based entirely on this every episode they would start in a weird situation and flash back

  • bearsx3
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 1:45pm

    Agreed. It's lazy storytelling

● ● ●

Every time I see my dumb mistakes on a test...

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • Zvant
    3 points Nov 15,2019, 12:38pm

    Frick discalculia

  • zomboromcom
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 11:58am

    Positive approach: whenever I see a dumb mistake I made on a test, I say "That's automatically one more point I can get next time if I'm more careful", rather than it being something I'm still struggling to understand.

  • dae_giovanni
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 12:19pm

    ¿porque no los dos?

  • yeldarts
    0 points Nov 15,2019, 1:55pm

    Oh my god, you got learning herpes?

COMMENTS

  • Zvant
    3 points Nov 15,2019, 12:38pm

    Frick discalculia

  • zomboromcom
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 11:58am

    Positive approach: whenever I see a dumb mistake I made on a test, I say "That's automatically one more point I can get next time if I'm more careful", rather than it being something I'm still struggling to understand.

  • dae_giovanni
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 12:19pm

    ¿porque no los dos?

  • RalloTa26
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 7:04pm

    for those curious, the name for what could be called "number dyslexia" is dyscalculia.

  • yeldarts
    0 points Nov 15,2019, 1:55pm

    Oh my god, you got learning herpes?

● ● ●

People get hung up on words

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • Cartwheels4Days
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 5:21pm

    Merry Birthday

COMMENTS

  • Cartwheels4Days
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 5:21pm

    Merry Birthday

● ● ●

I love it when I start my day off with a small win!

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • Donkey-Goat
    5 points Nov 15,2019, 9:51am

    You gotta love it

  • tubsgoat
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 11:00am

    My last year in the army was like this after 1SG said he didn't expect me at first formation.

  • MicZeSeraphin
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 10:16am

    Why would you care about waking up on time if it's your day off? /s

  • theoriginaltard
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 1:38pm

    Ok boomer

  • thekraken108
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 3:28pm

    Why do you need to set an alarm on your day off?

COMMENTS

  • Donkey-Goat
    5 points Nov 15,2019, 9:51am

    You gotta love it

  • tubsgoat
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 11:00am

    My last year in the army was like this after 1SG said he didn't expect me at first formation.

  • MicZeSeraphin
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 10:16am

    Why would you care about waking up on time if it's your day off? /s

  • harabanaz
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 12:05pm

    Join the club! This has happened to me once too, some years back.

  • theoriginaltard
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 1:38pm

    Ok boomer

  • thekraken108
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 3:28pm

    Why do you need to set an alarm on your day off?

● ● ●

Every time I come home to my roommate and his girlfriend making themselves food

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • DesperatePleasure
    12 points Nov 15,2019, 11:48am

    I don't have any roommates, but I do have a wife and this is true. Always doing dishes.

  • Dave_Labels
    6 points Nov 15,2019, 12:07pm

    don't wash them.

  • ilazul
    4 points Nov 15,2019, 12:22pm

    In my 20's I had a to move a few times / get new roomates until I found a group that actually took care of their stuff. It sucks.

    Honestly, just try to move the shit to the side of the sink and ignore it if you can. I never, ever did others chores since they'd then depend on it. One of my first roomates would cave in and everyone took advantage of it all the time.

  • SlummyRoom
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 1:31pm

    I've started to throw any dirty dishes that have been sitting in the kitchen more than a day out side. I shouldn't have to deal with a dirty kitchen because someone is a lazy fuck.

  • parse_l
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 6:20pm

    With me it's my sister in law but it's not just dishes. It's dishes, garbage, dirty floors, cigarette butts and ashes, a pile of her stuff in boxes dropped off on the back porch... Ugh

  • cody1428
    -13 points Nov 15,2019, 11:21am

    I got some advice for you - make better posts. Haha, just kidding, naw but really. Trash.

COMMENTS

  • DesperatePleasure
    12 points Nov 15,2019, 11:48am

    I don't have any roommates, but I do have a wife and this is true. Always doing dishes.

  • Dave_Labels
    6 points Nov 15,2019, 12:07pm

    don't wash them.

  • ilazul
    4 points Nov 15,2019, 12:22pm

    In my 20's I had a to move a few times / get new roomates until I found a group that actually took care of their stuff. It sucks.

    Honestly, just try to move the shit to the side of the sink and ignore it if you can. I never, ever did others chores since they'd then depend on it. One of my first roomates would cave in and everyone took advantage of it all the time.

  • lydmeister
    3 points Nov 15,2019, 2:55pm

    Stop washing them. You’re literally rewarding their selfish behavior. Even better, stop being passive aggressive and have a conversation with them about it.

  • SlummyRoom
    2 points Nov 15,2019, 1:31pm

    I've started to throw any dirty dishes that have been sitting in the kitchen more than a day out side. I shouldn't have to deal with a dirty kitchen because someone is a lazy fuck.

  • parse_l
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 6:20pm

    With me it's my sister in law but it's not just dishes. It's dishes, garbage, dirty floors, cigarette butts and ashes, a pile of her stuff in boxes dropped off on the back porch... Ugh

  • cody1428
    -13 points Nov 15,2019, 11:21am

    I got some advice for you - make better posts. Haha, just kidding, naw but really. Trash.

● ● ●

Sideshow Bob joins Trump Legal Team.

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • BillTowne
    10 points Nov 15,2019, 1:14pm

    After reading that Fox News Preverter Laura Ingraham said "attempted bribery is not in the constitution," I googled "Define bribery":

    brib·er·y

    noun

    the giving or offering of a bribe.

    "a bribery scandal"

    The most common form of bribery is the need to pay a corrupt official to get him to do his job. In many corrupt countries, every time you need something from an official, such as the processing of a building permit, he will refuse to do it unless you pay him. A common example would sound like this:

    Sure, I will process your military aid, but I need a favor, though?

  • mapple4life
    3 points Nov 15,2019, 4:19pm

    Also reminds me the time Lisa said Bob was not smart enough to orchestrate election fraud. Then Bob angrily and proudly demonstrated how he did it.

    Trump: If I wanted to do quid pro quo, I would've done the damn quid pro quo!

  • pablosito
    -5 points Nov 15,2019, 2:10pm

    I actually laughed. But I think the immediate response would be something along

    “If the attempted murder was successful we’d have a dead body. Bad. If the chemistry student is successful we have a new chemist. Good.”

COMMENTS

  • BillTowne
    10 points Nov 15,2019, 1:14pm

    After reading that Fox News Preverter Laura Ingraham said "attempted bribery is not in the constitution," I googled "Define bribery":

    brib·er·y

    noun

    the giving or offering of a bribe.

    "a bribery scandal"

    The most common form of bribery is the need to pay a corrupt official to get him to do his job. In many corrupt countries, every time you need something from an official, such as the processing of a building permit, he will refuse to do it unless you pay him. A common example would sound like this:

    Sure, I will process your military aid, but I need a favor, though?

  • mapple4life
    3 points Nov 15,2019, 4:19pm

    Also reminds me the time Lisa said Bob was not smart enough to orchestrate election fraud. Then Bob angrily and proudly demonstrated how he did it.

    Trump: If I wanted to do quid pro quo, I would've done the damn quid pro quo!

  • pablosito
    -5 points Nov 15,2019, 2:10pm

    I actually laughed. But I think the immediate response would be something along

    “If the attempted murder was successful we’d have a dead body. Bad. If the chemistry student is successful we have a new chemist. Good.”

● ● ●

Not in the habit of loans to friends, but you're good

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • mhouk88
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 7:32pm

    Sapien, but a good neighbor

  • JaydenPlayzYT
    0 points Nov 15,2019, 6:55pm

    That’s not an animal...

COMMENTS

  • mhouk88
    1 points Nov 15,2019, 7:32pm

    Sapien, but a good neighbor

  • JaydenPlayzYT
    0 points Nov 15,2019, 6:55pm

    That’s not an animal...