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I literally JUST cleaned that...

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Mafia Cat (OC)

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[FRESH] Old Town Road - Diplo Remix

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Due to recent events.

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • The_Write_Stuff
    5 points May 25,2019, 7:28pm

    The only thing "united" about the US is the name. We should be two different countries.

  • CheekooS
    1 points May 25,2019, 7:49pm

    you know I'm not sure.

  • zgrizz
    -4 points May 25,2019, 7:37pm

    Clearly you don't understand the limitations and strengths of a federal republic and constitutional representative democracy.

    I know, those were big words. But big words are your friends when you have unreasonable expectations, and lack knowledge in how the constitutionality of laws is appealed, determined and enforced.

    But that's okay. Big words don't fit in sound bites and Twitter reposts.

COMMENTS

  • The_Write_Stuff
    5 points May 25,2019, 7:28pm

    The only thing "united" about the US is the name. We should be two different countries.

  • CheekooS
    1 points May 25,2019, 7:49pm

    you know I'm not sure.

  • zgrizz
    -4 points May 25,2019, 7:37pm

    Clearly you don't understand the limitations and strengths of a federal republic and constitutional representative democracy.

    I know, those were big words. But big words are your friends when you have unreasonable expectations, and lack knowledge in how the constitutionality of laws is appealed, determined and enforced.

    But that's okay. Big words don't fit in sound bites and Twitter reposts.

  • Mclarencj
    -1 points May 25,2019, 8:02pm

    I too hate people a couple hundred miles away from me, for electing their own political representatives, who create laws for their state that dont affect me whatsoever /s

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On our flight back from our honeymoon, my wife wanted me to open the window. Instead, she said this.

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • Dutchwells
    3 points May 25,2019, 4:07pm

    It's recommended not to open windows in a regular airplane

  • sombrerojerk
    3 points May 25,2019, 4:26pm

    Buckle up bud, you’re in for one hell of a marriage!

COMMENTS

  • Dutchwells
    3 points May 25,2019, 4:07pm

    It's recommended not to open windows in a regular airplane

  • sombrerojerk
    3 points May 25,2019, 4:26pm

    Buckle up bud, you’re in for one hell of a marriage!

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Should I be worried?

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • AnotherLegend
    2 points May 25,2019, 4:57pm

    Don’t be scared be TERRIFIED

  • Krisdoingthings
    1 points May 25,2019, 5:14pm

    Eric Church - Over When It's Over

    Sounds like a slow dancebut it's how a romance ends.

    https://youtu.be/3lqT8I1Wb-g

  • kingeryck
    1 points May 25,2019, 8:28pm

    *are

COMMENTS

  • AnotherLegend
    2 points May 25,2019, 4:57pm

    Don’t be scared be TERRIFIED

  • Krisdoingthings
    1 points May 25,2019, 5:14pm

    Eric Church - Over When It's Over

    Sounds like a slow dancebut it's how a romance ends.

    https://youtu.be/3lqT8I1Wb-g

  • kingeryck
    1 points May 25,2019, 8:28pm

    *are

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It was in a public park and I had to poop really bad. Bonus it was empty.

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • R3PO_
    75 points May 25,2019, 11:57am

    The public bathroom at NYC’s Bryant Park showed me the full potential of a public restroom. It was small and busy, but damn if it wasn’t clean and fancy af, as well. The toilet seats have the self-changing plastic wrap thing! Mind blown.

  • shponglonius
    22 points May 25,2019, 12:04pm

    Appreciation for all the folks who work to provide us this experience.

  • CozmicOwl16
    15 points May 25,2019, 12:20pm

    The planets have aligned for you to have a good poop.

  • mayuzane
    3 points May 25,2019, 12:16pm

    Maximum Luck Stat

  • kyeelee
    2 points May 25,2019, 12:52pm

    When I was in college, we had a 40+ story building with so many empty bathrooms. You could shit to your ass’s content and no one would be around to bother you. The thing is anyone could access it without an I.D. Trying to find a restroom in the middle of NY and your ass will clench seeing how dirty it is.

  • Rexingtonboss
    3 points May 25,2019, 11:23am

    Few things in this life make me happier than walking into a pristine public toilet stall...and immediately destroying it.

  • I_Only_Post_NEAT
    2 points May 25,2019, 1:39pm

    One of the most awesome things about Japan is that the bathrooms are almost always clean and tidy. Not only that, some of them have a specific box that spits out disinfectant so you can sterilize the seat before you use it, so you'll always get this feeling.

  • ConkBepis
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:20pm

    In school, the bathrooms never disinfect

  • Eoiny
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:31pm

    Well, that deescalated quickly.

  • chillaxalready
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:35pm

    I really wish my downstairs bathroom wasn't perceived as a safe space for people who need to poop immediately after they eat.

  • dumbledorky
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:38pm

    I see someone just returned from a trip to Japan!

  • Vandal66
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:42pm

    In Iraq, it was absolutely vital to know the daily honey wagon schedule on the FOB. Failure to get in ahead of TCNs and locals was not an option.

  • MungTao
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:45pm

    Driving across america I was thrown off by how all the desolate pit stops were fully stocked of toilet paper. They arent so vigilant about the shit smears on the walls but you got to pick your battles.

  • Jibaro123
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:58pm

    FWIW, cultures taken in various places in public restrooms show the first stalls and the handicap stalls to be the cleanest.

  • M0JALA
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:03pm

    You better go play the lotto!

  • Kyizen
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:09pm

    Careful though a girl I know got a chemical burn sitting on a freshly cleaned rest room. The doctor visit wasn't fun also

  • lawanddisorder
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:15pm

    Congratulations on winning today's toilet lottery.

  • Halluci
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:16pm

    I hope you decimated it to return the status quo

  • MistaX8
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:20pm

    Feeling I get at work a lot. Coworkers are mostly women so the men's room gets a lot less use. I'm spoiled by the typical cleanliness of my workplace's public bathroom. What I don't understand is how some bathrooms get so bad in the first place, like, how hard is it to take a shit and not get it all over everything?

  • woogitywoogity
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:21pm

    One time i was throwing a baseball with some friends and got that "runs/stomach sick" feeling because i hadn't excersised in a while and needed to shit all of a sudden. We were at a high school baseball field and I could see a bath room at the local park. But the problem was there was a fence between the baseball field and the park and no way in hell I was climbing that fence. I pulled my shorts down and took a shit field. I didn't know what else to do.

  • SonOfGallifrey
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:22pm

    The worst is when the stalls dont even have doors on them

  • omnigear
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:31pm

    Be glad it ain't Mexico, you gotta pay to go in and most are.crappy

  • hassan214
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:36pm

    I always enjoy finding bleach spray in the cabinets. Makes my day

  • A_Random_Onionknight
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:37pm

    I've always admired peoples ability to "go" in an unfamiliar place, personally, I could never fathom taking care of business anywhere other than my own throne.

  • Nogohoho
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:48pm

    You’re welcome.

    -a janitor

  • itwasquiteawhileago
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:52pm

    I honestly thought you were implying you pinched one off somewhere outside in a quiet park. I've taken a dump in the woods before, while camping. It's oddly liberating.

  • dmuppet
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:53pm

    As a cable guy public parks are a life saver during the week. Always empty and usually clean. This time of year though ..It's hot and most of them don't have AC. Besides public parks, truck/travel stops are good, Walgreen/cvs usually have single occupancy. Also multi-company office buildings usually have clean bathrooms.

  • adudeguyman
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:54pm

    I'm pooping in a park now

  • zulutbs182
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:55pm

    Time to buy a lotto ticket bro. You’re cleaning on a winning streak

  • JoeyTaurus
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:59pm

    Wow...a clean public bathroom

    aLiEnS!?!??!

  • MaNicPiXieGrl
    0 points May 25,2019, 12:26pm

    Yesterday the sanican at my son’s baseball game was gross. So my husband went in first and then used the sanitizer to sanitize the seat for me!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

COMMENTS

  • R3PO_
    75 points May 25,2019, 11:57am

    The public bathroom at NYC’s Bryant Park showed me the full potential of a public restroom. It was small and busy, but damn if it wasn’t clean and fancy af, as well. The toilet seats have the self-changing plastic wrap thing! Mind blown.

  • shponglonius
    22 points May 25,2019, 12:04pm

    Appreciation for all the folks who work to provide us this experience.

  • CozmicOwl16
    15 points May 25,2019, 12:20pm

    The planets have aligned for you to have a good poop.

  • Tommy_like_wingie
    13 points May 25,2019, 12:44pm

    Best feeling is when you go in and see that blue stuff in the toilet.

  • mayuzane
    3 points May 25,2019, 12:16pm

    Maximum Luck Stat

  • kyeelee
    2 points May 25,2019, 12:52pm

    When I was in college, we had a 40+ story building with so many empty bathrooms. You could shit to your ass’s content and no one would be around to bother you. The thing is anyone could access it without an I.D. Trying to find a restroom in the middle of NY and your ass will clench seeing how dirty it is.

  • Rexingtonboss
    3 points May 25,2019, 11:23am

    Few things in this life make me happier than walking into a pristine public toilet stall...and immediately destroying it.

  • I_Only_Post_NEAT
    2 points May 25,2019, 1:39pm

    One of the most awesome things about Japan is that the bathrooms are almost always clean and tidy. Not only that, some of them have a specific box that spits out disinfectant so you can sterilize the seat before you use it, so you'll always get this feeling.

  • ConkBepis
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:20pm

    In school, the bathrooms never disinfect

  • Eoiny
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:31pm

    Well, that deescalated quickly.

  • chillaxalready
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:35pm

    I really wish my downstairs bathroom wasn't perceived as a safe space for people who need to poop immediately after they eat.

  • dumbledorky
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:38pm

    I see someone just returned from a trip to Japan!

  • Vandal66
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:42pm

    In Iraq, it was absolutely vital to know the daily honey wagon schedule on the FOB. Failure to get in ahead of TCNs and locals was not an option.

  • MungTao
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:45pm

    Driving across america I was thrown off by how all the desolate pit stops were fully stocked of toilet paper. They arent so vigilant about the shit smears on the walls but you got to pick your battles.

  • Jibaro123
    1 points May 25,2019, 12:58pm

    FWIW, cultures taken in various places in public restrooms show the first stalls and the handicap stalls to be the cleanest.

  • M0JALA
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:03pm

    You better go play the lotto!

  • Kyizen
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:09pm

    Careful though a girl I know got a chemical burn sitting on a freshly cleaned rest room. The doctor visit wasn't fun also

  • lawanddisorder
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:15pm

    Congratulations on winning today's toilet lottery.

  • Halluci
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:16pm

    I hope you decimated it to return the status quo

  • MistaX8
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:20pm

    Feeling I get at work a lot. Coworkers are mostly women so the men's room gets a lot less use. I'm spoiled by the typical cleanliness of my workplace's public bathroom. What I don't understand is how some bathrooms get so bad in the first place, like, how hard is it to take a shit and not get it all over everything?

  • woogitywoogity
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:21pm

    One time i was throwing a baseball with some friends and got that "runs/stomach sick" feeling because i hadn't excersised in a while and needed to shit all of a sudden. We were at a high school baseball field and I could see a bath room at the local park. But the problem was there was a fence between the baseball field and the park and no way in hell I was climbing that fence. I pulled my shorts down and took a shit field. I didn't know what else to do.

  • SonOfGallifrey
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:22pm

    The worst is when the stalls dont even have doors on them

  • omnigear
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:31pm

    Be glad it ain't Mexico, you gotta pay to go in and most are.crappy

  • hassan214
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:36pm

    I always enjoy finding bleach spray in the cabinets. Makes my day

  • A_Random_Onionknight
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:37pm

    I've always admired peoples ability to "go" in an unfamiliar place, personally, I could never fathom taking care of business anywhere other than my own throne.

  • Nogohoho
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:48pm

    You’re welcome.

    -a janitor

  • itwasquiteawhileago
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:52pm

    I honestly thought you were implying you pinched one off somewhere outside in a quiet park. I've taken a dump in the woods before, while camping. It's oddly liberating.

  • dmuppet
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:53pm

    As a cable guy public parks are a life saver during the week. Always empty and usually clean. This time of year though ..It's hot and most of them don't have AC. Besides public parks, truck/travel stops are good, Walgreen/cvs usually have single occupancy. Also multi-company office buildings usually have clean bathrooms.

  • adudeguyman
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:54pm

    I'm pooping in a park now

  • zulutbs182
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:55pm

    Time to buy a lotto ticket bro. You’re cleaning on a winning streak

  • JoeyTaurus
    1 points May 25,2019, 1:59pm

    Wow...a clean public bathroom

    aLiEnS!?!??!

  • MaNicPiXieGrl
    0 points May 25,2019, 12:26pm

    Yesterday the sanican at my son’s baseball game was gross. So my husband went in first and then used the sanitizer to sanitize the seat for me!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

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For my Indian brethren

Advice Animals

COMMENTS

  • mltr1234
    2 points May 23,2019, 10:56pm

    Context, we had elections where the right wing party won in a landslide, including one of their candidate, who advocates drinking cow urine "Gowmutra" for good health

COMMENTS

  • mltr1234
    2 points May 23,2019, 10:56pm

    Context, we had elections where the right wing party won in a landslide, including one of their candidate, who advocates drinking cow urine "Gowmutra" for good health

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Brexit Wit' Attitude

Advice Animals

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My mom; "Honey, could you help me figure out how to activate my debit card?"

Advice Animals